TLDR Data 2026-09-24

AI Benchmarks Are Broken 💥, Jev Inside Your Warehouse ⚡, Doom Runs on SQL 🎮

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Deep Dives

If You Last Used Cassandra 3.11, You Might Not Recognize It Today (10 minute read)

We ported the original Doom to SQL (25 minute read)

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Opinions & Advice

Benchmarks are more broken than we could have imagined (15 minute read)

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Launches & Tools

Jevflake (GitHub Repo)

DuckDB Now Ships inside dbt v2 (6 minute read)

Announcing Apache Fluss 1.0: Real-Time Data Foundation for AI (15 minute read)

Introducing prompt_jev(): bringing Jev to MotherDuck SQL (5 minute read)

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Miscellaneous

How Adaptive Tail Sampling Works in the OpenTelemetry Collector (7 minute read)

High-Throughput OLTP in Three Simple Steps (6 minute read)

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Quick Links